These past 365 days of my life have been quite the rollercoaster! If you would have asked me where I would be in one year, at this time, last year.. I would have never told you I would be where I am currently.
Needless to say, the last 365 days have been some of the best, some of the worst, some of the most rewarding, and some of the most challenging days that I have faced in the 24 years of my life.
This time of the year brings a bitter/sweet feeling in my life.. but as I sit here writing this, I can not lie, I feel incredibly blessed, despite the trials and challenges that I have faced this past year, because God has strategically placed amazing people in my path. I do not know where I would be without these people. All of these people have aided in the times of celebration, endurance, and healing of this past year. I am so thankful for them! I am also thankful for the grace, forgiveness, and compassion that God has continually shown me throughout this year.
I have gone through a spiritual rollercoaster; not that I am proud of it. I wish I was writing this saying that I have followed God steadfastly over the past 365 days, but I that would be a lie. I am confident that God will only use me to help others by sharing my story. I find it crazy how strongly people can influence your walk with the Lord; especially when you profess that God is the most important thing in your life. Life is precious.. why waste it by compromising your faith and beliefs to fit into a lifestyle that is not pleasing to God?
I went through some pretty traumatic times in my life. There were times when I did not know where I was going to find the strength to face the next day. Somehow, well not somehow; poor choice in words, it was truly God who pulled me through those times, I was able to press on. It is a true living testimony to the power of prayer. I know I was being showered in prayer, and it was extremely evident! Even though I was falling from him, he swooped me up and brought me into his arms and got me through some of the hardest, most traumatic times. Sometimes God will deliberately break you down to nothing in order to get your attention! I have always believed that, but living it, well, that is a completely different story! I am so thankful for his grace and forgiveness. I have also learned that I am a lot stronger than what I ever thought I was. I have a new belief in the statement that, “God will not give you more than you can handle.”
Not only have I experienced hardships this past year, I have watched my friends go through thick and thin.. dealing with anything from addictions to relocating to uncertainty and deaths. The most awesome thing, however, is to see how God has pulled my friends through some of the most crazy, chaotic, and hardest times in their lives and has drawn them back into his arms and has showed them grace beyond belief, as he did for me.
Along with pain and suffering, comes healing. Healing, it is not an easy road. I am still walking down the tattered paths of this avenue. I have learned what it is truly like to be bitter and to struggle with forgiveness. I have learned what it is like to feel so betrayed by someone you trusted your life with. I have learned how quickly you can loose control of your life when you think you are worthy of controlling it (reality: God is the one who controls your paths, NOT YOU!) Only God knows how to work in one’s life to bring the healing that comes after a black hole in your life. But God works in a way that is completely his own, and not how you may see “conventional.” I will be the first to testify, God works in his time, in his own way, and IT WORKS!
I made a major move in my life, relocating down to South Eastern, PA. I left my wonderful family, youth group, one of my best friends, and the one of the most amazing towns in the country for a world of uncertainty.. and uncertainty it surely was! Although the process of moving was exciting; it was the hardest thing I had ever done. I did not know that I had so many tears, until I was driving down route 120 with my new life ahead of me. The move turned into being nothing that I had anticipated, but had placed me with some of the most supportive, Godly, and amazing people that I have ever met.
I now live with whom I refer to as my “second family.” I am so thankful for my “second family!” They have helped me through so much, and it is a huge understatement to say how blessed I am to have them be in my life and to have gained 3 “sisters.” They truly have been a blessing straight from God. It shows that God places just the right people in your life when you need them the most!
I am very excited to see where God will lead me next in my life.. But, I know, that whatever it is, God will take care of me. He will lead me through everything, the good and bad. God is faithful and forgiving, and he is one that I can always lean on and know that his love is unconditional! Even though life is tough sometimes and it is hard to see the good in the hard times, but I truly believe that God continually gives us “blessings in disguise.” <-- Check out the song.
